Ten Things I'd Like to Tell Other Parents about their Parenting Skills (but probably won't)

This week's idea comes from Mama Kat, who wanted to hear the ten things other people told me about my parenting skills (unsolicited advice, of course - because it's the best kind, right?). Aside from hearing, periodically, that my children's misbehavior is due to "poor parenting," I can't think of anything more insulting to say.

Instead, I'm going to insult everyone else and list the top ten things I'd like to say to other parents - but probably never will, because then they might hit me.

1.  It's cold out.  I see you're wearing a jacket and a hat, but your tyke isn't. What the hell is wrong with you? Cover that baby up!


articles.sfgate.com
ok - this kid is old enough to know
better - but when they aren't old enough,
PARENTS are supposed to take care of
things.

 2.   Will you please wipe that child's nose? It's obviously dripping, and just ignoring it isn't going to make it go away.  Neither is pretending you don't see when the child wipes his/her nose on the shopping cart.



flickr.com
PUHLEEZE WIPE THIS NOSE NOW!

 3.  When the entire waiting room can smell poop, and your child is the only one in diapers, would you please quit gassing the rest of us and go change the diaper? Your child will thank you, and so will the rest of us. (Yes, this happened once, in a doctor's waiting room).

4.  Do you *really* think it's appropriate for your little girl to wear shorts or sweatpants that read "JUICY" across the butt? Again, what the hell is wrong with you?

5.  Is it *really* necessary to schedule your child for non-stop activities? Does your child ever get to just be a kid, and have some down-time for non-scheduled, non-adult supervised play? You know, like back in the good old days, when the kid could say, "Going for a bike ride," and mom would call out, "Be home for dinner"?



mormonchic.com
Divide this little picture up into 8 more
segments, now. And throw in a couple
more kids, to boot.

6.  No, I don't want to hear your little darling sing the Alphabet song or George Carlin's list of words you can't say on t.v. just because I happen to be a captive audience.

7.  Is it wise to allow your third grader to watch R-rated slasher flicks like "Friday the 13th"? I realize they're probably too old for Winnie the Pooh, but somehow Freddy Krueger doesn't seem like much of an age-appropriate improvement.



flickr.com
Freddy - your kid's new
bff

 8.  Yeah, I know the kids are corralled in a tight space and it isn't the most ideal situation, and sometimes you have to bring the kids because the baby-sitter arrangements fell through at the last minute.  And I know that even the most well-behaved kids will act up (and out) at the most inopportune and inappropriate times.  However, it's really not fair to the rest of us to be witness to your child/ren's rampaging all over the waiting room (or other public area) while you hide behind your book or newspaper.  Please - will you keep an eye on your children and quit making the village watch out for their safety?



aztextpress.wordpress.com
What a sweetheart!

 

9.  It's ok to discipline your child in public and private. I don't agree with public beatings, slaps, smacks, throwdowns, etc. But it's perfectly fine to firmly say, "No" and stick by it.  It's hard at first, but believe me - your child, and the rest of the people s/he interacts with, will thank you some day.


sodahead.com
But dad, I've heard YOU say
that word!

 10.  I know it's always 10:00 a.m. somewhere, but here it happens to be 10:00 p.m.  The toddler in your grocery cart is obviously overwrought and exhausted, cranky, and irritable.  Do you honestly expect us to believe that 10:00 p.m. is the *only* time you can get out to the store to get those critical items you need, like your thong panties and 6-pack? Do your child a favor and GO HOME and put that poor child to bed.



shutterstock.com
Take that poor kid home
and put him to bed!