Transfer!

Anyone seen the commercial for Discover?

If I could figure out cut & paste on this hospital computer, I'd put the link here. No doubt you can find it on YouTube. I suggest searching for "Discover Card Transfer" ad, or search for "Peggy Discover Card" and see what you come up with.

Why?

Here's an actual conversation that took place this weekend.  If you've seen the Discover ads, or ever had to call for tech support, you can relate:

Chatter communications. How can I help you?

Hi - I need to access my email at your web site, but the site is not recognizing my password, which was reset just two days ago.

Ok. What is the name on the account?

Joe Smith.  The address is 123 Main Street, Yourtown, Yourstate, 55555.  I don't have the account number since I'm 100 miles away, but I do have the account password.

All right. Let's see if this will work.  Hm. Ok, I'll have to transfer you.

(TRANSFER!)

Chatter communications. How can I help you?

I'm trying to access my email through your website, but the site isn't recognizing the password that was changed just two days ago with help from one of your technicians.

What is the name on the account?

(slow burn) Joe Smith. The address is 123 Main Street, Your City, Your Town, 55555.  I do not have the account number, but I have the account password. I'm a couple hundred miles away in the hospital with a sick kid and I need to access my email to contact family and all I want is to be able to log in to your web site because for some mysterious reason, I can't get Outlook Express to log in at the home computer, which I realize isn't your problem, but surely you can understand my frustration, here, since I was able to log in at Chatter a few times in the last few days without any difficulty, but now the site won't recognize my password.

What is your password?

Fleas6970.

What is your email address?

Thisemailsucks (at) webaddress.com

Ma'am, I am able to see your account. I see the account was shut down due to four failed attempts to log in.  There are messages there.  Please, you try to log in now, using your email and password.

 (mutter mutter mutter)  Nope, not working. Tells me to reenter the email address, password, and service area zip code.

All right. Now try, please?

(mutter mutter mutter)  Not working. Now there is a blank screen.  The page isn't loading, nor will the page for online chat tech support.

(lather, rinse, repeat about four more times, thus locking out the account)

Ok. Return to the home page for Chatter and look for the yellow box in the lower right corner that says "check email." Click on that.

(mutter mutter) ok.  Clicked, there isn't anything happening.

Ma'am, I don't understand. I can see your email, there are new messages coming in.

Well, THANK GOD SOMEBODY can get my email, because I sure can't.

Ma'am, I don't understand why this is happening.

(slow burn) I don't either, and that's why I had to call you. Because I can't get the online chat tech support to load let alone access my email. From your web site.

Ma'am, are you using your home computer?

No, I am dependent upon the hospital system.

Ok. I do not know why this is happening. I think that maybe the system does not have loaded the latest Adobe Flash Player, and that is why it will not allow you to access the email.

Uh yeah. And this is the hospital system, so I have no control over that. So, why did it load the last few times I used the email through your web page in the last few days?

I can't explain that. I would suggest you use another computer?

(thinking: Not exactly freaking convenient. I'm in a hospital and fortunate there's even a computer in the hospital room, let alone being lucky enough to find some unattended computer lying around somewhere, that isn't on the same hospital system my room computer is on)  Uh huh.

Is there anything else that I can help you with?

No, thank you .....(hanging up over the "have a nice day," beginning to swear profusely)


I have no doubt that my internet provider is housed in somebody's grimy kitchen with somebody's old muscular mom/granny in the background ironing or stirring something mysterious in a black kettle, and that old-fashioned black telephone receivers with curly cords are being passed person to person as each person in the room yells "Transfer!" into the phone as it is handed back and forth before landing with the original "operator."

Sadly, I don't remember what the name of the person was who answered my plea for tech support.  If it turns out her name is "Peggy," as in the other Discover ad for tech support, my life will be complete.

I may have to send her a Christmas card.

Gratitude List

Thanks to Lisa, over at Grandma's Briefs for inspiring this post.


Let's talk turkey, over some . . . well, turkey and gravy and mashed potaotes.  Or, maybe you prefer Chinese take-out for Thanksgiving. Either way - what are you thankful for?

• I am thankful for the ongoing (good) recovery of Fuzzy. He's a real hero.
• I am thankful for my daughter, Big Sister, who has shown remarkable maturity and understanding these last few, difficult weeks. She is the best kid.
• I am thankful for my husband, who has for many years deserved the Daddy of the Year award along with the Best Husband award.
• I am thankful for all the good people out there in my real and virtual worlds who have shared their prayers, support, and kind words with us.
• I am thankful for those who find medical research to be rewarding and exciting. Where would we be without the results? If that job were left to me - well, let's just say the Phrenology is a science probably better left in the Victorian age.
• I am thankful for any chocolate-covered item like peanuts, pretzels, and popcorn.
• I am thankful for the ability to work, the fact that I do have a job when so many are unemployed, and that I enjoy my job.
• I am thankful that I live where I do.  I could live in a country where women are, as the norm, treated as second-class citizens where they are not allowed nor expected to learn to read or write.
• I am thankful for the presence of the Chair Massage Lady in this hospital.  WOW. That's all I can say. I could sleep in that chair.
• I am thankful for pajamas, though I wish people wouldn't wear them in public places.
• I am thankful for homemade cookies. 
• I am thankful that we can pay our bills and still have some money left over.
• I am thankful that I have never truly known what it is to be hungry.
• I am thankful for the people who read this blog.
• I am thankful other bloggers who make my day with their writings.
• I am thankful for furry LOLCats.

So  -  what are YOU thankful for?

After a Day at the Children's Hospital

After a day at the children's hospital, you will know your way around without hesitation, having worn a path from the Intensive Care Unit to the bathrooms to the waiting room and you'll be able to find your way while set on auto-pilot.

After a day at the children's hospital, you will learn names within minutes of an introduction when normally you are famous for forgetting a name within seconds of hearing it. As a safeguard, you'll keep a small notebook of names/titles and occupations, because at least 20 people will be seeing your child within the first 24 hours of his stay.

Afer a day at the children's hospital, you will have your chlid's story down to the smallest detail because you'll be repeating it to at least eight different times to eight different people.  You'll have memorized the onset of each symptom from the firs tmoment and your hindsight will be better than 20/20 as you recall everything form the last six months that should have been an indicator that something was wrong.

After two days at the children's hospital, you will nod in greeting to other familiar faces and recognize who the new parents on the floor are by their shell-shocked looks.  You'll be sympathetic, because you looked the same way just the other day. 

After three days at the children's hospital, you start to realize the magnitude of all that is happening and the monumental adjustments that will affect daily life and all you formerly took for granted.

After any amount of time in the children's hospital, you will think of all events in your life in one of two ways:  B. D. (Before Diagnosis) and A. D. (After Diagnosis).   You will learn the true meaning of the phrase "Cautiously optimistic."

After being in the children's hospital for four days, you'll learn that "PICU" is an acronym for "Pediatric Intensive Care Unit" and is often pronounced "PICK-U," and not as an abbreviated form of the name of a Japanese animated character called "Pikachu" (PEEK-U). 

After being in the children's hospital any length of time, you'll develop a strong empathy for any family whose child is on a donation canister for a benefit dinner.

After being in the children's hospital any length of time, you will either abandon your faith - angry that a higher power has allowed such pain to be inflicted on a child.  or, you may discover a deepening of faith despite your endless wondering over why this is happening to any child, let alone your own.

After being in the children's hospital for a week, you'll start to find humor in odd things.  You'll realize that in the rush to pack clothes and meet you at the hospital, your spouse has packed undergarments that haven't seen the light of day in years - and thus should probably have been thrown away years ago - and that you have only one pair of socks to wear.  When the teen in the bed next to your child's lets out a huge belch, you'll want to call, Shrek-style, through the curtain, and say, "Better out than in, I always say," but you refrain because you know the kid can't help it.  You'll find it odd that the bearded man in the brown 3-piece suit looks mysteriously like John Fitzgerald Byers , a "Lone Gunman" from the show called  X-Files, and you'll think, "What the heck is that guy doing here," and then realize that he's part of the staff and not an actor.  Likewise, you'd swear in a court of law that one of your nurses was contestant Andrew Garcia on last season's "American Idol."  You'll leave the hospital in the morning and return six hours later, and see the same guy upon entering that you saw upon leaving, and fight the urge to start singing, "I'll be seeing you (In all the old familiar places").

After being in the children's hospital for ten days, you'll start to refer to it as "home," as in, "After I get back home, you can go take a rest and I'll see to it that Elroy has some dinner and some company."

After being in the children's hospital for any length of time, you'll have moments when you feel like you were born to deal with tragedy and moments when you feel like there's just no way in hell you'll get through this.  Either way, your faith in humanity will be restored because people you barely know will be coming together with those you know well in order to support you.  People will pray for you, and you won't feel funny about that.  People will hug you, and you'll sag momentarily into their arms, comforted.  People will share their stories with you, and you'll listen with a new understanding of their pain.  People will overwhelm you with their generosity as they give of their time and their pocketbooks.  People will ask how they can help, and then follow through. 

After being in the children's hospital any length of time, you'll realize you can't beat yourself up for all the times you told your kids, "In a minute," "Not right now," "Later," "Will you go DO something," and all those other phrases because those phrases are just a normal part of life - and kids need to hear them just as parents have this bizarre need to say them.  You'll also realize that every day with your kids, the good and the bad, is a gift - and you'll tell yourself to be thankful for every one you have together.


Thank you everyone, for your support and your kind words.  Help lighten the mood, here! Do you have any funny stories to tell from any hospital stays or visits you've made?

It's Been a While

Dear Readers,

It has been a while, and I apologize.  At least - it feels like a long, long while for me, since I've posted anything new.

There has been a big emergency in my family - our little guy, Fuzzy, was diagnosed with a brain tumor and was air-lifted to a major hospital for pediatric care/surgery.

He's doing well after one full week "here," and is soon to be sent to an upgraded room. We have hopes of being home in December.  I apologize to those of my friends and family who are reading this news for the first time - not memorizing my email and facebook passwords means that I haven't been able to keep in touch with everyone.

Please - keep my little boy in your prayers, and I hope to hear from all of you again soon in the cyberworld.

Whatever Happened to Childhood?



pukmall.com
Norman Rockwell
childhood?



"Whatever happened to childhood," posted Danika, a Facebook friend.

"Sadly, making schools socially comfortable for kids is not the legal responsibility of schools," says another Facebook friend, Arielle. "Genuine conflict resolution must be taught."

On Halloween night, one trick-or-treater accepted a treat but left my spouse with a flier advertising a candlelight vigil to raise awareness about bullying.

Recently, a college student committed suicide after his roommate video-taped him having sex, and then sending the video out over the Internet.

The State of Michigan does have a model of an anti-bullying policy , and the Epley family is working hard to ensure that the Michigan legislature will pass an anti-bullying law named in memory of their son, "Matt's Law." Matt's Law, aka House Bill 4580 passed the House in 2009, but according to the web site, legislators are sitting on it until elections.  Let's pray and cross our fingers that they get off the stick and pass this law. 



ocmauburn.edu
Stop hazing abuse

Matt's Law also can be found on Facebook - search for Matt Safe School Initiative. 

According to the web site, Matt Epling.com, Matt had been assaulted by some upper-classmen at his school as part of a "welcome to high school" hazing.  He was in the eighth grade at the time.  The site does not go into detail about what happened to Matt, but it was serious enough that the family was moving ahead to press charges. As the day drew nearer to the family's filing the paperwork, etc., Matt ended his life. 

Danika and Arielle don't know each other, and they don't live in the same town. But it's obvious these are two parents who are ready for action, because they know something isn't working with the system that is in place in their schools.  Either their own children are being bullied, or they're hearing too many reports from their children about other kids being picked on.

I talked recently with a substitute teacher who asked, "Why do you the kids have Health instead of a foreign language? What do they talk about," he asked, "nutrition?"


I said yes, they do cover basics like the food pyramid, but that Health class is more of a "life skills" class, and tries to give kids some skills in dealing with bullies, anger management, fire safety, trick-or-treat safety, etc. ALL THE THINGS THE KIDS SHOULD GET AT HOME BUT FAR TOO MANY KIDS DON'T GET THIS AT HOME.

Sorry for shouting.



happychildhood.us
"Do unto others as you
would have them
do unto you."



In recent weeks, anti-bullying programs are being talked about in many school districts. Most districts have something in the student handbook about bullies and the district policy on dealing with such, but all too often the behavior is dismissed or filed under something else that isn't specifically "bully" related, enabling the behavior to continue.

When I was in 4th grade, a bunch of kids were making fun of kids' names in class one day. I had a name that was fun to have fun with. I got tired of hearing the name, and turned it around on the boy who started it all. I turned his name into something like "Fish turd." You know the 4th grade mentality : they thought it was hilarious, and started chanting it. 

The boy started to cry, and he said, "My NAME. That's my NAME."

Well, I felt horrible, though in all likelihood my first thought was, "Oh crud, now I'm going to get in trouble." Even though I didn't start the name game, it appears I ended it, but I still felt badly that I had made this boy cry.  I apologized to him, he accepted, and thankfully, the name game didn't carry on past that particular moment.

Bullying? Perhaps. An isolated incident? In this case, yes. Had the name game continued into infinity, then I would definitely define the incident as bullying.



eddfund.org
A truly neat individual.



For any kid who is bullied, it may not matter so much why the bullying occurs, it just matters that it happens at all.  For a kid who is physically/mentally/emotionally impaired, they are far too often an easy mark for kids who would otherwise spend their time torturing pets and ripping wings off of insects.  The bullies would rather not get to know someone who is perceived as "different" because they are probably afraid of being associated with someone who, if they got to know that person, is genuinely a neat individual.  For kids who are percieved as "normal," being bullied can be just as traumatic.  Some kids, regardless of race, culture, ability, economic status, etc, are what one relative calls, "bully bait." No matter what they say or do, it's always the wrong thing. 

Every kid needs for school to be a safe place.  Every kid needs to know that disrespectful behavior will not be tolerated.  Every kid needs to know that it is all right to stand up for someone, to stand up to someone and not have to fear retribution by an adult or another student.  Every student needs to know that s/he does not have the right to bully someone else. 



latinoreview.com
Marty's dad



Ask anyone of any generation, and they'll tell you that bullying happened back in their day, and everyone survived, that it wasn't heard about then the way it is now.  But, if we were to pull a Marty McFly and go Back to the Future,  what would people say?  Would we find someone in his 60s, who would admit to being bullied because he fell in love with another boy, a classmate?  Would we find someone in their 70s who admits to every school day being torture because not only did the students tease her, but so did her teacher, because of a speech impediment?  Might someone in their 80s admit they were tormented because they were poor?  Might someone who is 35 share the story of how he was towel-whipped in the locker room but didn't report it, because "that's just what the guys did," then?  Is it possible that someone in their 40s would admit being bullied because she didn't live in the right neighborhood?  Would your 15-year-old tell you that he is bullied because he is shorter than most of his classmates, and therefore perceived as effeminate?  Does your kindergartener confide that she is lonely at school, because at recess time, it is never her turn to play a game?  Might your ten-year-old admit that she is teased and her belongings cruelly hidden because she is overweight?  Is it possible someone would say they don't know what their sibling thought of bullying, because that person committed suicide?



sjbcommunity.com
Looks like an easy puzzle,
doesn't it?



According to one source, Michigan is one of five states without an anti-bullying law.  "U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan announced that school districts that don't try and curb bullying could risk losing funding," according to a recent newspaper article.

Wouldn't it be nice if school districts would have an anti-bully policy in place, without the threat of loss of funding? Just - you know - have something in place beyond the zero-tolerance policies that don't work?  Some argue the policies criminalize the victim, or they don't allow enough flexibility to interpret the incidents within the contexts in which they occur.

A better alternative just may be the conflict resolution that my friend Arielle suggests. 



antibullyingposters.com
This should apply in
the workplace, too.



Once again, I strongly recommend a book called "The Everything Parents Guide to Dealing With Bullies." Published within the last year, it contains information about the signs your child is being bullied, common bully myths (not all bullies are, themselves, bullied children), and what to do if your own child is the bully.  There are also helpful web sites noted, and organizations listed to help you get information about anti-bullying programs.

November 15 - 19, 2010

is

Bullying Awareness Week.

Why wait until November 15th to educate yourself?  Check out the links that are within this post. Spread the word.  The bullying stops here. 



bloggirlscouts.org



Halloween Wrap-up

Random thoughts on Halloween 2010:





thevault.cx
Well, at least he wore a
costume.


• 344 trick-or-treaters, including 5 adults. 
• Really, adults?  Get a job and buy your own candy.  On November 1st, the candy is marked down at all the stores. You can get that bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for half-price.  Though I do appreciate that you at least put on a mask in an attempt to be festive.
• One friend has pondered saving candy wrappers and putting a note inside saying, "Grow up," and putting those in the candy bags of the adults who come to her door.
• Poor little guy who came to the door, looking woebegone.  Face all scabby like he'd had an encounter with Freddy Krueger days before, wearing a vacant expression, and not quite making eye-contact, with a worn-out mom in the background encouraging him to "Say trick or treat, honey."  This little guy doesn't need Halloween once a year - he needs it more often because it looks like every day is hell for him.

• Pre-teens in hot pants and fishnet stockings: I know it's a Halloween costume, but something tells me you really don't mind wandering the neighborhood - or anywhere else - on a going basis,with your ass half-exposed.  HEAVY SIGH  I'm so glad that the kids I escorted had their body parts decently covered.




ipernity.com
Actually, the young girl I saw
was showing a little more
cheek.


• Our town has no "set" trick or treat hours, but typically kids start around 5:30 p.m., or whenever it starts getting dark, whichever comes first.  One gleesome threesome started making the rounds at around 3:45 p.m.  What the heck?  That's a little bit early, in my estimation. After a few rounds of door pounding, doorbell ringing, and hollering "trick-or-treat," the kids packed into the family car and drove off - bags empty.  With 344 kids on the average, if we start handing out candy at 3:45 p.m., it'll never last.




Not exactly the costume
I saw, but close enough.
chasing-fireflies.com

• Which leads me to this:  If you're trick or treating that early in this neighborhood, it's obvious you don't live in this neighborhood.  Yes, I know. There are kids who live out in the country where there are not homes close enough together to easily partake of free treats; apartment dwelling kids; kids in unsafe neighborhoods, etc.  But I know darned well that there are not 344 children in residence in this neighborhood in which I live.  Halloween is easily becoming an expensive holiday for this household, running second only to Christmas (and that's another story).




wondercostumes.com
Don't sit on his lap!


• Cutest costume award goes to the toddler dressed as a turkey - a brown body suit with tail feathers stuck on the back side, which bounced delightfully at every step. 
• Coolest costume award goes to the 6-foot tall Darth Vader who came to the door with a little Princess Leia in tow.
• Most interesting and creative costume award goes to the kid dressed as a Whoopee Cushion.
• Many, many children said "thank you" upon receipt of their treat. Good job, moms and dads!



It's the Great Pumpkin,
Charlie Brown



1. Do you think every town should have a set time for trick-or-treats?
2. Do you think kids/adults of a certain age should be banned from public trick-or-treating?
3. Would you give an adult candy at trick-or-treat time, costumed or not?
4. Do you give parents candy when you know darn well the baby/toddler isn't going to eat it?
5. Do you have a candy hierarchy based on creativity of costume, age of trick-or-treater, or do you prefer "candy equally to all" on Halloween?



pbase.com
Happy Halloween, everyone!