A Perfect Summer

That Krazy Kat kinda woman of Mama's Losin' it  has some really great post ideas.  Recently, she asked what is your idea of the perfect summer?  I'll attempt to bottle the response here.

Lake Michigan waves

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For the past four or so years,  summer isn't complete until we've visited a good friend of ours who lives near Lake Michigan.  Big Sister and Fuzzy were fish in former lives, and the visit isn't complete until we've spent an afternoon getting buffetted about by the crashing waves of Lake Michigan. 

One huge wave will completely soak you, so no fears about getting used to the water by degrees - pristine beaches and beautiful weather make this a "can't miss" every summer.

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Grilling makes for a perfect summer, especially since I don't have to do it.  Not that I'm the head chef in our house, anyway - I'm chief bottle washer and assistant to the chef, Hubby.  It doesn't matter if he's grilling hotdogs, steak, or fish - it all tastes gourmet and it means less clean-up for the chief bottle washer (me).  Plus, it smells sooooooo good!  Vegetables on the grill are absolutely yummy as well. Toss in a salad and here's dinner.  The year we got the new grill though, the kids were so tired of grilled food - they complained, "Oh no! Is daddy grilling again?" as if it were a fate worse than death.  Well, they've gotten over that.

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Gardening is another thing that makes summer complete. It just isn't summer until you've got a garden.  We always end up with too many tomato plants, but that makes it fun to play "tomato fairy" in the neighborhood.  You take your extra tomatoes and line them up on the neighbors' porches.  I haven't had any returned to me, yet.  Herbs, spinach, beets, zuchini - those are among the favorites we plant at my house.  Leave room for flowers, too. Nothing wrong with mixing up the veggies with a few sunflowers.

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Summer isn't perfect until we've spent part of it at the local library.  As a kid, my siblings and I spent many a day going to the library - sometimes a couple of days in a row.  Avid and voracious readers, we'd walk home with stacks of books weighing our arms down, and stay up all night reading them.  It's a sure sign summer is over, and school about to start, when there is less time for reading.  Sad, but true. I resolve to find more time for reading, though. Even if I have to pretend my clock has 8 more hours than everyone else's.  

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I know summer storms can be dangerous and deadly, but it just isn't summer unless you've been through a few thunderstorm warnings and watches.  Even a gentle summer rain is a wonderful thing to make summer complete. My yard, which strongly resembles a Triscuit, would agree.  There's nothing like rain in the summer to break the heat and send refreshing waves of coolness through your skin, or - maintain the heat and turn your yard and garden into a sauna of flora and fauna.  If the conditions are right, it's nice to get caught in a summer rain, or to open your windows and let that cool air breeze through and clean away the closed-in staleness we so often experience with air conditioning.

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Kids on bikes is a sure sign that summer is here.  Packs of kids riding six abreast down the road, or a kid riding solo - whatever the formation, when the bikes come out - summer is here.

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There are no Dairy Queens where I live - unless you count me, personally. Where I used to live, we had one of these places to go and indulge our need for softserve ice cream.  When we were kids, and we traveled northward, that's when we'd see the Dairy Queens. They were only open in the spring, and would close in the fall, after the tourist season was over.  Even though I don't get to the Dairy Queen too often anymore, it's a sure sign of summer when the Diary Queen is open. Time for a Blizzard!

What are the things that spell summer for you?

Can it be Saved?

This post is from that Krazy Kat kinda woman, Mama Kat's Writing Workshop.  This week, she asks, "Can it be saved? Think of something that is ruined when it’s totally wet: like a newspaper or a piece of cheese. Write a scene (truth or fiction) that involves you and a soaked item."  I can't help but think of that song about someone leaving cake out in the rain.

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I like stuffed animals.  I think it's rare to find someone who doesn't like stuffed animals.  The only thing I don't like about them is the washing instructions.  Most poly-filled critters require "spot cleaning" only, which really drives me batty.  After all, stuffed animals are usually in the young child's domain - and who else but a young child is going to need to have a critter cleaned on a regular basis? 

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Depending on the doo-dads attached to the animal, I usually have no compunctions about tossing them into the washer (tied into a pillowcase, washed on the gentle cycle) and then letting them hit the dryer for a tumble.  Most of them come out, no worse for wear, and looking almost brand new.

Others - well, not so good.

Big Sister had a winter jacket with a really soft and wispy furred hood.  Grandma tossed it into the dryer one wet winter day, and that hood came out looking like it had clumps of sheep wool attached to it, instead of the soft and wispy rabbit-type fur it started with.  I sighed somewhat heavily, having taken care to always drip-dry the jacket, but now resigned to its lifespan being lived out with clumpy trim.

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Fuzzy had an Eeyore that met the same fate.  Eeyore's soft and wispy black mane, instead of looking like black sheepy clumps, just flattened out - never to be soft and wispy again.  Fuzzy didn't seem to mind, though.

Fuzzy's Eeyore

One day, in a rush to get Big Sister's bedding washed, I grabbed the sheets off the bed, rolled them into a ball, and tossed them in the washer.  A trip to the dryer immediately followed.  Later, as I was folding the sheets, a heavy lump was found in the fitted one.  I wasn't sure what it was.  A long-lost pillowcase? Surely not the family pet, who was dodging under the sheets as I tried to fold them.  Upon closer investigation, I found Big Sister's teddy bear.

Now, Big Sister slept with a veritable zoo of animals on a nightly basis.  They ranged in size from extra small beanie baby size to critters that were nearly the same size she was.  I figured if anything ever got lost in the bedsheets, it would be one of those miniscule animals and if it had to head for that big pasture in the sky, Big Sister would likely never miss it.

So much for my good luck.

Out tumbled the teddy bear.

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Now, Big Sister has lots of teddy bears.  A big white polar bear with her birth year on his foot.  A Winnie-the-Pooh that was a friend from birth.  A pale brown furry bear. And, The Bear. The One Mom Wrecked. 

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I don't have a picture of The Bear in his "before" stage. I only have one of The Bear in his "after" stage.  Picture the fur on The Bear looking somewhat like the fur on this bear, at right.  It's kind of wispy, soft, fluffy.  Just the kind of thing a kid likes to snuggle into, and touch.

Imagine my dismay when I saw what the washer and dryer had wrought upon Big Sister's The Bear.  Her face immediately crumpled as she held out her arms to safely enclose the Poor Animal in her loving embrace.

I felt horrible.

I hadn't known that The Bear was even a particular favorite.  I tried wetting down The Bear once more, in hopes that a drip-dry would restore his loveable wispy fur to its former furriness.  But, much like that rabbity-furred hood, it just wasn't gonna happen.  Here is what The Bear looks like, now:

The Bear

Now, he's still soft and squishy and ultra-huggable.  What he is, is no longer "uber-huggable."  You can see his fur no longer resembles that of the bear pictured above (dollworks.com) or the fur on the hood of the Eskimo boy pictured earlier in this post.  Instead, The Bear's fur shrunk up and ended its wispy reign wound into tight little whorls resembling that of a sheep.

So, while The Bear itself was saved, the Fur of The Bear was not saved.  And forevermore, he is known as The Bear Mom Ruined in The Wash.

I might be forgiven when Big Sister turns 40, but no doubt she'll find this blog post somewhere online as written and photographic proof to her own children that Grandma is not to be trusted with stuffed animals. 

Slurpees are . . . Nutritious?

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Our local 7-11  - or, "Sleven," in localese - has a self-serve Slurpee set-up in the back of the store. 

This is a wondrous thing.

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Remember the days of waiting at the counter, ten people deep, for your Slurpee to be handed over?  Now, you can serve yourself, and not confuse the clerks over putting banana flavor on the bottom, followed by root beer, then orange, and topped off by a dollop of Mountain Dew.

So as Big Sister and Fuzzy and I are getting our Slurpees today, we notice a new sign taped up on the machines.  It reads something along the lines of: 1.  "If you're using an EBT card to pay for Slurpees, you must - something something something . . ." and then, 2. "Do not insert straw into Slurpee until you have paid and are out of the store."

The kids and I were momentarily confused. I figured maybe the store was tired of people drinking half their Slurpees before they'd gotten to the counter to pay, so I asked the clerk, "What's an EBT card?"

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Clerk:  That's the food stamp card in this state.

me:  Oh, ok. So - the straw thing? We're a little confused.

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Clerk: (tightlipped, looking put out) People on food stamps can now buy Slurpees with their foodstamp card.  If they put the straw in it before they pay and leave the store, then it's considered a 'to be consumed immediately' item and we can tax it.  If they use their EBT card and then put the straw in the Slurpee as soon as they're out the door, then it's not considered a 'to be consumed' food item, and it cannot be taxed.

me: Huh.  So - those banana-flavored Slurpees are really nutritious and necessary food items, like bread and milk and real bananas.

Clerk:  (nodding) You got it. And, you and I get to pay for people on food stamps to get their Slurpees.

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me:  Interesting.  So - who on earth decided that Slurpees should be covered by food stamp money?

Clerk:  No idea, but let me tell you, it's just wrong.

me: (preparing to leave, with my obviously privileged children) Wow.  Well, thanks for the explanation.

So, what do you think? Is it wrong to spend food stamp money on Slurpees, which have absolutely no nutritional value - much like some sugar-coated cereals I won't name - or is it acceptable?  Should people on food stamps be denied a simple pleasure in life like a Slurpee on a hot day simply because they're on food stamps and don't have any ready cash?

What's your opinion?

Late Christmas

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I am a slug of the lowest order.

When I was burrowing through the pile of stuff on the floor of my closet, I came across two framed pictures of animated movie characters.

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I had a jolt of panic as I realized that it was mid-August, and those pictures had been in the closet, tucked around the inside and thus not immediately visible, since Christmas.

I was then hit with the sinking feeling that . . . I couldn't remember just who those pictures were from.  I figured it had to be my sister, or my husband's sister.

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Embarrassing as it would be, there was only one thing to do:  call and find out who the gift-giver was.

I don't think my sister-in-law was offended - thankfully, she knows what an airhead I really am and next time we see each other we will probably make jokes about my inattention to detail.

Have you ever been in that kind of situation? Finding, months or years later, a gift or letter that was supposed to have reached its destination with help from you, and you forgot or misplaced it? What did you do?

Dear Mom and Dad

Today's post idea is courtesy of Mama's Losin' It, a Krazy Kat kinda woman with some good writing ideas.  "Write a letter to yourself, from one of your children."  By the way, my daughter read this - and she approved.

Dear Mom,

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Can I pleeeeeeease get my own computer? Every time I want to use the family computer, YOU'RE always on it.  You even EAT BREAKFAST in front of the computer, and pretty much after dinner - yep, you're on the computer.  So, wouldn't it be cool if I had my own? Then, when I'm on the computer (and I know you've had to tell me to 'wrap it up' when it's time to eat, or when you want to use it) you don't have to wait for me to finish my writing or email or whatever.  It will always be available for you!

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About clothes, too? I really do like shopping the clearance racks, but do we always have to start there? Sometimes there are things I just plain old want. I can't explain it. Hey, were YOU ever able to explain it? Ok. So maybe if the shirt I pick out is, like, $25? I promise I won't ask for anything else for a good long while, if, just this once?  And I totally hate shopping for clothes.  All my stuff has to be hemmed and it's so annoying.  I know not *all* of my friends have an unlimited amount to spend on clothing, but all their stuff seems to fit perfect and I have to get mine altered.  So cool that you know how to run a sewing machine (even if my khakis were hemmed a little *too* short! But that's ok, I'll still wear them).  So cool that I know how to run a sewing machine. And have one of my own. Though, I do think YOU need a new one (so I can have your old one, which I like a lot better than mine).

Really.  Do 7th graders have a bedtime? I know school is starting, but I'm not the only one who has gotten into this bad habit of staying up late and sleeping in.  Mom, if you're going to make me turn my lights out at a certain time, then you need to do the same.  'Nuf said.

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You know, if I say that I feel short or fat or something, it doesn't mean I'm going to get all anorexic on you.  So quit with the "When I was your age" stories already, ok? I mean, I see my family and we're all different shapes and sizes, and I know that in this mixed bag of genes that I might end up with the short end of the gene pool.  I said "short," mom, not "shallow," and though I'm laughing and rolling my eyes at your joke, I'm serious, here.  I know that everyone grows at different rates and times, and I might still end up being tall.  Whatever.  I'm happy with myself most of the time, and isn't it pretty normal to not like some things about yourself from time to time? So, let me complain about things now and then.  You'll know if I'm getting all weirded out about something.

Oh. And along with my own computer, a cell phone would really be nice.  I know when I use yours at practices and stuff that I leave some strange messages, but that's only because my friends are around. I can't be my usual self and say "love you, mama," because they'd think that's weird for someone my age.  But you know I mean it, even if I don't say it! 

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Oh. And about staying home alone?  I can way more than handle a couple of hours. In fact, PLEASE GO AWAY FOR AN ENTIRE DAY! (just kidding)  You surprise me all the time when I come home from school and you're not there, so you don't need to tell me 500 times that you're going out shopping FOR AN HOUR or out to visit someone. I CAN HANDLE IT!  Yes, I have the phone numbers, and I know not to open the door for a stranger, or answer the phone.

And I don't think you hover (too much) and I'm not too annoyed that you help at some of the things I'm involved in.  At least you stay out of the way, and some of my friends remember you from elementary school, but most people haven't figured out we're related. You're just that crazy woman who stuck a bobby-pin in some guy's head (by mistake! I know! by mistake!) because he had a chunk of hair sticking out.  Plus, I kind of like it that you're there if I need to just check in.

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Ok: final things.  Books, books, books, more books.  Let's go to a few movies.  Music (i-tunes?) would be a really great thing.  I like our weekend shopping. Let's do it often, even if we don't buy anything. Winter boots? Please, no more Land's End unless it's something not little-kid. Last year's boots were pretty mortifying, mom.  Yeah. I'm not going to be rolling around in the snow anymore. I just want some boots to keep my feet warm and wear DURING SCHOOL HOURS instead of having them take up space in my locker (which is totally annoying when I have to share a locker so there's no room for anything) and they have to look stylish.

All right. Gotta go.
Love,
(don't you DARE put my nicknames here, MOM!)
ME! You know who it is!

p.s.  Yes, I really do know I have a good brother.
p.s.s. don't forget, NICE boots.
p.s.s.s. Stop tucking me in with all my stuffed animals when I'm asleep at night.
p.s.s.s.s. I'm TWELVE now, you don't have to check in on me!
p.s.s.s.s.s.  Ok, maybe once in a while. BUT THAT'S IT!

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Everything Parent's Guide to Dealing with Bullies/book review-commentary

The first weeks of school are approaching for many, and some have already returned to the classrooms this month.  Some kids have a harder time adjusting than others, whatever the reason.  In an age where parents tend to hover (and thus are called "helicopters") and overprotect, there is still room for concern when it comes to your child's well-being. 

This post originally appeared in 2009, at the site of my first gracious host, Spanitz Consulting, Inc. - www.spanitz.com - 888.SPANITZ - 888.772.6489.  Please - stop in and visit. 

It was simply eerie coincidence that I started reading Jodi Picoult's Nineteen Minutes at about the same time I was a third of the way through The Everything Parent's Guide to Dealing with Bullies.

In Picoult's novel, Peter's parents tell him to toughen up. Out of desperation, his mother even tells him she will punish him if he comes home one more time without his lunch box, which was the object Peter's tormentors focused on from his first day of school until it became passe to carry one.


Later in the novel, Peter is "caught" defending himself from a bully, and a teacher takes him and the bully to the office where Peter is reprimanded and punished. The bully goes free - the teacher didn't see his misbehavior.

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Peter is humiliated in cyberspace, in person, verbally and physically - all because he doesn't fit the other students' vision of what cool and acceptable kids should be. The adults in the novel are utterly clueless as to the torture Peter goes through.

Picoult's novel deals with more than the bully issue, because in typical fashion, her novels are like that multi-layered onion: the more you peel, the more layers you find. But, Picoult's novel identifies many of the key points that the Dealing with Bullies book explains.

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The Everything Parent's Guide to Dealing with Bullies, while it is 289 pages including indices, is still a quick read. Do not equate "quick" with "easy," however. There is lots to absorb. 

The information is presented concisely, cleanly, and compactly on the page, each chapter being devoted to a specific issue dealing with the topic of bullies.

Briefly, the chapters outline definitions of bullying - myths and truths and also:

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• types of bullying and bullies

• characteristics of a bully

• characteristics of the bullied 

• the bystander

• warning signs your child is being bullied

• the differences and similarities between boy bullies and girl bullies

• bullying children with special needs

as well as other topics, such as how to help your bullied child, working with schools, and zero tolerance policies.


The reader could easily select the topic they need information about and come away with comprehensive detail, or read the book as a whole.

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Many of us are already familiar with some of the issues involving bullying in schools, either because we've been on the receiving end of such treatment, administered it ourselves, or observed it happening to others.

Many of us are familiar with some of the typical responses regarding the issue of bullying:

• "We don't allow it, we're on top of it." - school administration

• "Toughen up! Sticks and stones...names will never hurt me..." - parents and other well-meaning adults

• "Bullies only bully because they don't feel good about themselves." - general myth

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• "Boys will be boys!" - generally followed by indulgent chuckles - another myth

• "It's part of growing up, everyone has to deal with it." - parents and other well-meaning adults

All of us could relate incidents that happened throughout our school years about bullies and the bullied. If you're not sure though, if your own children are being bullied, here are the key things to look for, according to the Guide (60-61):

• doesn't want to go to school

• "accidentally" misses the bus frequently

• complains of stomach aches in the morning

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• grades suddenly drop, without explanation

• loses belongings or they come home broken

• asks for more and more lunch money

• has nightmares or becomes withdrawn

• comes home with mysterious cuts and bruises

• wants to drop out of after-school activities or sports

• skips school

• talks about or attempts suicide

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The Guide cautions that this is not an all-inclusive list, and that some things must be considered based on how your child normally is. For example, if your child is not one who typically loses or breaks his things but suddenly (like Peter, in Picoult's novel) has gone through several lunch boxes in as many weeks, this should be a clue that there is a problem.

Your child may also be more stressed than usual, and develop nervous habits like nail biting (112), or suffer emotionally: becoming depressed, distressed, and irritable (113), and verbally beat himself up - "I'm an idiot, a loser, I suck" (114).

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One response to bullying that always pops up from children as well as adults is, "If I tell, it will only make it worse."

 

I can't really disprove this, because any of us could cite examples of how our parent went to the principal or the teacher or the bus driver and demanded attention to the problem just to have the bully focus even more intently on his/her victim, and to get no response from administration. I recall my dad and a neighbor boy's dad videotaping the bus stop bully picking on the neighbor boy and my brothers. They showed the tape to the school principal, who shrugged and did nothing about the bully's behavior. Nothing, that is, until my brothers and the neighbor boy picked back. Guess who got suspended from school? Not the bully.

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But, there have been other cases, if the situation is handled right, when the bullying has stopped. It seems magical, I know, but perhaps in those few instances, some of what is described in The Guide was already in place:

The school has simple, clear rules about bullying behavior and will enforce those rules (183).

The school may or may not have a zero-tolerance policy - but, The Guide points out, those rarely work because what might be considered a mild offense (pulling a chair out from beneath someone, for example) might not be deemed serious enough for suspension or expulsion - as might a physical beating, for example, especially if the mild offense was a first-time offense.

The first-time, mild offenses typically leave the victims hesitant to report the bullying incident, and leaves teachers and administrators hesitant to follow through with the zero-tolerance policy. The punishment seems far too severe for the crime.

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But, The Guide points out, as long as there is an atmosphere of permission that bullying is ok, it will continue. And much bullying is done "below the radar" of the adults who have the power to start putting an end to it.

Schools need to be aware of trouble zones where bullying can take place. Bathrooms, isolated parts of a classroom or building, hallways and stairwells, parking lots, playgrounds - all contain places where bullies can focus on their victims with very little fear of retribution.

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For instance, at my child's school, there is a beautiful play set with multiple slides, walkways, climbing apparatus and platforms. It's a big draw for many of the children at recess time, with many places to play. And of course, with so much activity happening all at once, sometimes the bullying can happen in plain view and be construed as accidental. My son just informed me this summer that, as he was sitting on the ledge of an upper platform on this play set, another student came from behind and kicked him off, sending him to the sandy ground, below - and the other student laughed the whole time.

Did you tell a playground aide about this, I asked. Yes, he said, and the aide wanted to help me but I didn't know who had kicked me. Well, this happened in kindergarten and my son is entering second grade this year. I am angry and sad that I didn't know of this sooner.

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And as is often typical, there are bystanders who witness the bullying - but they are hesitant to stand up for the victim, or report the bullying to an adult.

Children with special needs have other issues with bullying. For instance, a special needs child may not understand that he/she is being taunted and bullied (217). If you are the parent of a special needs child, you can request a Section 504 or IEP meeting and request that your child's curriculum include anti-bullying education and social-skills training (219).


What?

Social-skills training?

Why should my child have to change just because someone else doesn't like how he or she is?


That is not the point of social-skills training, which is something that can be beneficial for all children, whether or not they are special needs. Learning and practicing social skills, from something as basic as saying hello and making conversation to being aware of their body language (posture, facial expressions, etc) can help a child gain confidence and awareness and become less of a target for bullying behavior. All parents should reference the chapter "Social Skills and Assertiveness Traning."

Most of us know the types of bullying: name calling, taunting, swearing, spreading rumors, gossip, insulting nicknames, mocking, sexual bullying, threats, cyber bullying. It all adds up to three basic categories: Physical aggression; Social; Relational; Emotional.

A new category has recently been included, and that is Food-Allergy Taunts (220). Eating peanut butter and then chasing the deathly allergic child in order to make physical contact with him or her is definitely bullying behavior, not to mention potentially life-threatening.


In all, The Everything Parent's Guide to Dealing with Bullies offers a comprehensive guide to identify bullies, types of bullying, identify children who are likely to be bullied, and what to do about it.

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There are chapters on how to help your child not be bullied (social skills and assertiveness) and what you can do if your child is the bully. There are chapters about how to handle the situation at the school level, and what you can do if the situation is not resolved satisfactorily.

What kinds of anti-bullying education work best? It's in the book. And, the education shouldn't be a one-time, start of the school year thing, either.

Bullying is about power. You have bullying when you have an imbalance of power, the intent to harm, and the threat of further harm (8). It doesn't matter if the bullying is done by one person or by many - it is still bullying. It doesn't matter if the bully is in preschool or a sophomore in college: it is still bullying. It doesn't matter if the bully is a boy or a girl, is smaller or bigger than the victim: it is still bullying.

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No school is completely bully-free, but if parents and educators have the right tools and information, and are willing to collaborate, all of our kids can feel a little safer during their school days.

Oh, and parents? When your child comes to you and says something happened, document, document, and document again. (Even if you aren't sure it *really* happened, still - take note of it.  8/2010)

I feel that every school district should invest in copies of The Everything Parent's Guide to Dealing with Bullies , and spend quality time re-evaluating their anti-bullying polices for effectiveness. This takes time and money, I realize - and until this can happen, I strongly recommend that parents check out their own copy of the book (and in a level-headed manner, read for information - not for "inflammation"!  8/2010).

The Everything Parent's Guide to Dealing with Bullies
Deborah Carpenter, with Christopher J. Ferguson, PhD
2009, F+W Media, Inc./Adams Media
ISBN 10: 1-60550-054-2
ISBN 13: 978-1-60550-054-6
$14.95

Nineteen Minutes
Jodi Picoult
2007 Simon & Schuster/Washington Square Press
ISBN 13: 978-0-8424-9673-5
ISBN 10: 0-8424-9673-6
$16.00




Bullying Awareness Week is November 14 - 10, 2010.

There's a Hole in the Bucket

There's a hole in my bucket.

Seems like everyone these days has a "Bucket List," thanks to the move of the same title. 

I guess we're all supposed to get inspired and come up with 100 things to do before we die.

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I have a lot of trouble with this list.  I suspect my 100 things are supposed to be bold, daring, inspirational to others as well as myself, and things that I'd never consider doing ordinarily, unless I knew I was going to die. Well, die sooner, rather than later, and have some time frame like "ya got two days."

I suspect my Bucket List would be less than inspiring.  I have no desire to bungee jump, go sky diving, or even water skiing.

Instead, I propose a list of things we'd like to see before we die.  Here's the start of mine (a start, because it would take far too long to sit here and come up with 100 items in one sitting, and I do have to get some things done today):

100 Things I'd Like to See Before I Die

1. Write a novel.  All right, this is a personal one. Hardly inspiring, I'm sure, but don't all of us have a story inside of us, waiting to be told?
2. Publish the novel, and have it become a best seller.  Whoopee! A two-for-one, here.  Yes, we could write the novel - the trick is getting it published and making money from it.



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3. End world hunger.  Not much I can personally do about that, except my own meagre donations (meagre, in the grand scale of things).  It's a crying shame that people still go hungry in this world, and in our own country, too.
4. Can't we all just get along?  Rodney King said this phrase in honesty and desperation, but he was onto something, here.  CAN'T we all just get along? Or, at the very least, live and let live?
5. World peace.  It's pretty ambitious, but at the very least, refer to #4.
6. Equal rights, world-wide.  This is not to say that every country in the world must be designed like the United States of America (which, though its faults are many, I like living here).  But - can women, children, the mentally incapable, the elderly, the gay/lesbian, the physically handi-capped (and all others who are not considered "the norm") at least get the same amount of respect that everyone else in the free world gets?  It's perfectly fine for cultures to have their own standards of dress and rules of acceptable behavior, but can we quit treating anyone who isn't like us like second-class citizens (or worse)?  Again, see #4.
7. Cure for cancer.  Yeah, like I with my grades in science and math would ever accomplish this.  And I'm sure someone out there is saying, "Come on now, let's consider the Survival of the Fittest. How else do we pare down an already over-burdened population except by illness and war?"  Whatever.  I still think a cure for cancer would be a wondrous thing.  Let the common cold be incurable.  At least people tend to survive that.



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8. Every student has all needed school supplies.  Whoa! That's a mental leap! Jumping from such worldly topics down to such mundane things, here.  But, wouldn't it be great if, just for one stinking week, each kid in each classroom had his/her own paper and pencils (sharpened and with erasers)?  Some of you wouldn't believe how much time gets wasted because little Jimmy doesn't have a pencil, even though he entered the classroom with one not more than five minutes ago.
9. Every student has appropriate outdoor wear.  Yep, this is another one.  For at least one winter season, wouldn't it be wonderful if all students were equipped with snowpants, jacket, hat, gloves, and boots?  Whether or not they'd wear them is another issue - but to have the items present and accounted for during the course of the school day and ready for recess would be fabulous.  Maybe, after one season of this, a few parents would get a clue.



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10. Kindness.  Tact.  There's nothing wrong with being blunt and saying what's on your mind, but bluntness tempered with a little kindness goes a lot farther than plain old bluntness.  I think it's called "tact," really. So I should re-name this "tact."  Ok, that's better.  Tact.  Be tactful.  If you don't like something, it's all right to say so and be up front about it, but you can be tactful and further avoid hurting people's feelings, with any luck.  Life isn't all about you getting to say and do what you want in the name of bettering mankind and stomping all over other people.
11. Vote.   People really  need to get out and vote in elections.  Too many feel that their vote doesn't count, being just one out of many, so how could it possibly matter if I vote or not. Grumble grumble grumble.  Well, if there are 100 people who are supposed to decide between grilled cheese and peanut butter & jelly, and 55 of those people say their vote doesn't count so why bother, and 30 people vote for grilled cheese and the remaining 15 vote for peanut butter & jelly, the 55 who wanted peanut butter and jelly but didn't bother voting really have no basis for complaint now, do they? So just shut up already and exercise your right to vote.



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12. A sense of Personal Responsibility.  Wouldn't it be lovely...if people had a sense of personal responsibility, which included pride in their appearance, their homes, jobs, relationships, possessions, etc.?  A sense of responsibility so that, instead of saying, "It's not my fault," each person could instead say, "That's my fault," and then move on to doing something to make it right? I just want to say, "Talk to the hand," whenever someone goes on about how it's everyone else's fault but their own that (fill in the blank). 
13. A sense of Community.  It would be equally wonderful if more people - heck. ALL PEOPLE - had a sense of community.  SOME people do this very well.  But, those people need help.  Feeding the hunger, sheltering the homeless, clothing the naked - think of all the other areas in which people need help on a daily basis from the most profound down to what we think of as less important.  What small things can you do to help someone else?  Building a sense of community can also help with #12.



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14. Get rid of electronic gadgets for three days.  Says she, who blogs and checks facebook at least once daily.  But, seriously.  Let's have a power outage (but not one that zaps the refrigerator and the air conditioning/heating units) and make telephones, cell phones, i-phones - phones of any kind; televisions, ti-vo's, vcr's, dvr's, all video games; computers, etc., unavailable for three days.  Let's learn how to communicate again.  Lately, I see lots of people taking walks, strolling side-by-side on a summer evening, and instead of holding hands and viewing the world around them, perhaps taking a moment to share a loving gaze, what are they doing? They're not holding hands.  They're holding their phone gadgets, texting and surfing the internet.  People don't dine together in public or private anymore, they sit at the table and dine long-distance with other people instead of the ones they're with.  People don't even ride bicycles and count that as a social activity unless they can text at the same time.  Do we REALLY need to be that linked in to each other's lives?  NOT.
15. Education, an equal one, for EVERY one.  Many of you are saying this is a no-brainer.  I'm saying it isn't.  We do our best, here in the States, to see to it that things are equitable across the board - but we all know that some students get more than others once they enter the hallowed halls of their educational system.  I also understand that no matter how much you can give a student, if the student doesn't willingly participate, not a lot of learning is going to take place.  Still - the opportunities have to be there, because some where, some day, a light bulb is going to go on for some one who realizes that an education can be a good thing.  In a perfect world, anyone could go to college because the often exorbitant costs wouldn't make that an inaccessible goal.  In a perfect world, anyone could attend school grades kindergarten through 12, whether they were male or female.  In a perfect world, everyone would learn to read and write and do, at the least, simple arithmetic.  It's not a perfect world yet, and neither is our educational system nationwide, and worldwide.  But, we're working on it. 



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16. Love thy Neighbor.  This phrase wouldn't be smugly attended to because we all love our neighbors as far as it benefits ourselves.  The phrase is not meant to be taken literally, as in loving only those people who live immediately in your vicinity (next door, across the street, etc.).  Nor does it mean to physically or emotionally love someone.  Probably the definition of "love" was much broader at one time.  "Love thy Neighbor" simply means to watch out for other people:  are his/her basic needs being met? How can you help? This goes along with #12 and #13.
17. No soliciting means just that.  All right, it's back to "all about me" time.  If you aren't selling chocolate, just keep moving.  I have a hard enough time saying no to the earnest salespeople who are hawking children's story Bibles in order to earn money for college, let alone the people who want to sell me a new cable service.  However, I can't say yes to everyone.  Therefore, to preserve my sense of dignity and to avoid hurting others' feelings, I let a sign do my dirty work for me.  No Soliciting means just that - don't solicit me.  PLEASE.  I'm happy with my God, my cable company, the greenness of the crab grass in my otherwise looks-like-a-Triscuit lawn, and if you're a politician, I'll learn about you via the news stories and whatever mailings you send me.  Don't leave your pizza coupons stuck inside the door handle, don't leave your handyman service cards inserted in the door, and don't leave your Pampered Chef or Avon catalogs inside the newspaper tube.  Just. Don't.

Allrighty then.  This list is supposed to go up to 100.  What would you like to see happen before you die?  Whether it's skydiving or the end of world hunger, post your additions in the comment section.