Transfer!

Anyone seen the commercial for Discover?

If I could figure out cut & paste on this hospital computer, I'd put the link here. No doubt you can find it on YouTube. I suggest searching for "Discover Card Transfer" ad, or search for "Peggy Discover Card" and see what you come up with.

Why?

Here's an actual conversation that took place this weekend.  If you've seen the Discover ads, or ever had to call for tech support, you can relate:

Chatter communications. How can I help you?

Hi - I need to access my email at your web site, but the site is not recognizing my password, which was reset just two days ago.

Ok. What is the name on the account?

Joe Smith.  The address is 123 Main Street, Yourtown, Yourstate, 55555.  I don't have the account number since I'm 100 miles away, but I do have the account password.

All right. Let's see if this will work.  Hm. Ok, I'll have to transfer you.

(TRANSFER!)

Chatter communications. How can I help you?

I'm trying to access my email through your website, but the site isn't recognizing the password that was changed just two days ago with help from one of your technicians.

What is the name on the account?

(slow burn) Joe Smith. The address is 123 Main Street, Your City, Your Town, 55555.  I do not have the account number, but I have the account password. I'm a couple hundred miles away in the hospital with a sick kid and I need to access my email to contact family and all I want is to be able to log in to your web site because for some mysterious reason, I can't get Outlook Express to log in at the home computer, which I realize isn't your problem, but surely you can understand my frustration, here, since I was able to log in at Chatter a few times in the last few days without any difficulty, but now the site won't recognize my password.

What is your password?

Fleas6970.

What is your email address?

Thisemailsucks (at) webaddress.com

Ma'am, I am able to see your account. I see the account was shut down due to four failed attempts to log in.  There are messages there.  Please, you try to log in now, using your email and password.

 (mutter mutter mutter)  Nope, not working. Tells me to reenter the email address, password, and service area zip code.

All right. Now try, please?

(mutter mutter mutter)  Not working. Now there is a blank screen.  The page isn't loading, nor will the page for online chat tech support.

(lather, rinse, repeat about four more times, thus locking out the account)

Ok. Return to the home page for Chatter and look for the yellow box in the lower right corner that says "check email." Click on that.

(mutter mutter) ok.  Clicked, there isn't anything happening.

Ma'am, I don't understand. I can see your email, there are new messages coming in.

Well, THANK GOD SOMEBODY can get my email, because I sure can't.

Ma'am, I don't understand why this is happening.

(slow burn) I don't either, and that's why I had to call you. Because I can't get the online chat tech support to load let alone access my email. From your web site.

Ma'am, are you using your home computer?

No, I am dependent upon the hospital system.

Ok. I do not know why this is happening. I think that maybe the system does not have loaded the latest Adobe Flash Player, and that is why it will not allow you to access the email.

Uh yeah. And this is the hospital system, so I have no control over that. So, why did it load the last few times I used the email through your web page in the last few days?

I can't explain that. I would suggest you use another computer?

(thinking: Not exactly freaking convenient. I'm in a hospital and fortunate there's even a computer in the hospital room, let alone being lucky enough to find some unattended computer lying around somewhere, that isn't on the same hospital system my room computer is on)  Uh huh.

Is there anything else that I can help you with?

No, thank you .....(hanging up over the "have a nice day," beginning to swear profusely)


I have no doubt that my internet provider is housed in somebody's grimy kitchen with somebody's old muscular mom/granny in the background ironing or stirring something mysterious in a black kettle, and that old-fashioned black telephone receivers with curly cords are being passed person to person as each person in the room yells "Transfer!" into the phone as it is handed back and forth before landing with the original "operator."

Sadly, I don't remember what the name of the person was who answered my plea for tech support.  If it turns out her name is "Peggy," as in the other Discover ad for tech support, my life will be complete.

I may have to send her a Christmas card.